"School of Crime"

by Derek Martin

Happy sauntered down the main street of the section of town known as "The Splinter." He smiled as he saw the fresh creases in his dress suit of clothes and elegant tie. But then Happy smiled all of the time since topping off his evening dress wear was the white, egg-shaped, foam headgear that covered his face. The smile button countenance on the front of the headgear finished off the surreal look.
As Jackson Spratt, maintenance man of the "Splinter," he looked after the well being of the shops and its owners. But as Happy, he patrolled the streets at night to give himself and everyone concerned just a tiny bit more peace of mind.
But as he passed a nearby alley, he heard scraping sounds. He turned and walked down the narrow passageway between the two buildings. It was then that he saw the three men, one holding a crowbar, trying to break into one of the business's rear entrance.
"How many crooks does it take to break into a store?" Happy spoke in a cheerful voice.
The trio of burglars turned towards Happy in unison.
"What's with Clown-face?" stated one of the men.
"Let's get ‘em," shouted another.
The man with the crowbar rushed at Happy, but the friendly looking hero deftly made a smooth step to his right and kicked the tool from the man's hand. It spun through the air before landing in Happy's grasp.
"Your mother must be pleased that you finally became a lawyer."
The large hulking man before him grunted in ignorance.
"I mean you did just pass the bar, didn't you?" Happy held out the crowbar as he spoke.
The other two men then rushed Happy all at once, and together with the third man Happy had no chance to avoid the law-breaking gang. He was bowled over and landed amidst some garbage cans. As he lay there, he heard one of the men yell to the other, "Teacher's not going to be pleased at all, this was supposed to be our mid-term exam!"
Happy then picked himself up, and still holding the crow-bar, dusted himself off.
"Hmmm," he murmured aloud, "I thought crime was an elective sort of thing, I didn't know they were teaching it now."

NEXT- Happy investigates.

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